"My heart is heavy," he told the Rav, "because God has given me an ugly daughter."
"How ugly?" the Seer asked.
"If she were lying on a plate with a herring, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference."
The Seer of Cracow thought for a longtime and finally asked, "What kind of herring?"
The man, taken aback by the query, thought quickly and said, "Er-Bismarck".
"Too bad," the Rabbi said. "If it was Maatjes, she'd have a better chance."
Woody Allen, Getting Even